怎样才可保有你?

文:博尔赫斯
译:馨阅

我给你街道的逼仄 落日的绝望
郊外月亮的残缺
我给你
一个和孤寂月亮 深情对视良久的
男人苦痛
我会讲述逝去的先祖
在世之人,对石碑上的魂灵所给予的尊重
我祖父,殉身于布宜诺斯 艾利斯的前线
穿透肺部两颗子弹
满脸络腮胡子 死时
被他的战友包裹起来
以一头牛做掩护
我母亲的祖父 仅24岁
在米鲁率三百士兵冲锋陷阵
如今 也成为与战马一样消失的魂灵
我给你 我生命所仅存的思想
男人的刚毅,人生的诙谐
我给你 一个从未真诚的人所有的真诚
我给你 我仅存的灵魂 不知怎么我还拥有
无法用言语所描述
梦境无法抵达
时间也未荏苒
未成拥有的欢乐和苦难历程
落日余晖里 看到的一个记忆的黄色玫瑰
那个岁月 你还未出生
我给你 话语中的自我
我告诉你
你的生命 你的思想
真正让你惊异不已的
你自己
孤独黑暗的我笼罩了你
你看到了 我心中 那个渴望的我
不知怎样我才能买断你
用我的权力 或 我的毁灭

原文:

What can I hold you with

by Jorges Luis Borges (1934)

I offer you lean streets, desperate sunsets, the moon of the jagged suburbs.
I offer you the bitterness of a man who has looked long and long at the lonely moon.
I offer you my ancestors, my dead men, the ghosts that living men have honoured in marble: my father’s father killed in the frontier of Buenos Aires, two bullets through his lungs, bearded and dead, wrapped by his soldiers in the hide of a cow; my mother’s grandfather -just twenty four- heading a charge of three hundred men in Perú, now ghosts on vanished horses.
I offer you whatever insight my books may hold. whatever manliness or humour my life.
I offer you the loyalty of a man who has never been loyal.
I offer you that kernel of myself that I have saved somehow -the central heart that deals not in words, traffics not with dreams and is untouched by time, by joy, by adversities.
I offer you the memory of a yellow rose seen at sunset, years before you were born.
I offer you explanations of yourself, theories about yourself, authentic and surprising news of yourself.
I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart; I am trying to bribe you with uncertainty, with danger, with defeat.

豪尔赫.路易斯.博尔赫斯(Jorge Luis Borges 1899年8月24日 – 1986年6月14日),阿根廷诗人、小说家、散文家兼翻译家,被誉为作家中的考古学家。

发表回复

您的电子邮箱地址不会被公开。 必填项已用 * 标注

加拿大四季诗社